Struggles

I am struggling.  I have no problem admitting that.  I loooooved having Christmas break.  I know some people get snarky about teachers and their breaks, and that's okay, but I really needed it!  Since school started back (Yesterday!!) I feel like I didn't even have a break.  I'm struggling. 

Everyday, I get up at 4:30 am.  Everyday.  I get up, shower, get ready for school.  I pack Dexter and me for the day.  I warm up my car (unearth it from snow).  I try and eat breakfast or I take it with me to work.  I take Dexter to whoever his sitter is that day (family or our sitter we've hired).  Then I get to work around 7, work my rearend off until 8.  I run to the restroom, go get my kids, and teach all day long.  Then, I work as long as I need to with my teaching partner and I go pick Dexter up.  I drive home.  I play with the baby, make dinner, and then do school work.  At 8, Dexter gets a bath, has a bottle and goes to bed.  I try and get to bed by 10.  TRY.  Rob helps a lot in the morning.  In the evening, he gets home around 6 and helps then.  I am exhausted.  On Friday nights, I do laundry until late, late evening.  On Saturday, I attempt to clean.  On Sunday we grocery shop for the week.  All extra time on the weekend is family time, or go to wherever time.  I am EXHAUSTED.

I want to be able to sleep until 5:30!  I'm hoping if we ever find a house I can do that!  But, right now, I'm struggling. 

I want my job to make more sense.  I can't say more than that right now.  That makes me struggle.

I want to spend more time with my baby before he is 18 and I have no clue where it all went.  I struggle with that.

I want to cook healthy meals for my family every night.  I want to cook meals that are interesting and delicious.  At 6:30, sometimes a simple hamburger  is easiest.  I struggle with that.

I rely a lot on prayer right now.  I think that's the only thing that gets me through some of these days.  I don't know what else to do.  I never intended to write an entry with complaints and that's not how I mean it.  I'm in need of prayer and help.  My body simply cannot handle the lack of sleep and the workload anymore.  I can't say anymore about that at the moment.  Maybe someday, and then it will make more sense.

I struggle.  I am a wife and a mother and a teacher.  And I struggle.