Help, Not Compete

When I was pregnant, I found the most valuable resource in the world: recently pregnant girlfriends I admire. This may seem like common sense right now, but when you're pregnant, you get advice from every person you meet, whether they have children or not. It can be very annoying. Sometimes, you're tempted to do the opposite of what they say (even if it sounds reasonable) just because you tired of all the advice. I found that mom's I admire (my own, my sister in law, my friends, moms I may not know well, but have enjoyed reading their blogs because of their common sense child rearing philosophy) are the people I listened to the most.

I can remember being out and about while hugely pregnant one day and watching a situation where one mom wouldn't "share" her knowledge with another who asked. I tried to pretend I wasn't eavesdropping (but I totally was and it was probably obvious) but after the mom asking for advice left, the knowledgeable mom looked at her friend and in a superior sounding voice said, "Like I'm going to give away my best tricks of the trade." No, I'm not kidding. I was astonished! I mean, yeah, we all want our kids to be the best, but really, do you think your child has any less of a chance of being CEO if you tell your friend your trick to changing a diaper fast? I think that what we should be striving for as a parenting community is to help raise our kids to be productive members of society who can do for themselves, so that our world becomes a better place! Seriously, I don't want Dexter relying on people his whole life. If he wants to build a house for his family to live in, he needs to work hard for that, not look for a handout from someone! His parents work hard to give him everything he has. Okay, off the soap box!

At any rate, I found myself in a position last night where my newly pregnant friend was having a time with something. I passed on a small bit of advice given to me that helped me a lot! I woke up this morning to find that she had great success with the information I passed on and was grateful! I felt good that I could help someone as someone helped me. So, I guess this ramble has a point. We should be working together, not against each other. Oh yeah, and pregnant moms, whether it's your first or 20th, your best resource are moms who were recently where you are now! Use them! And if any of them are mean to you, let a little SBD slip and shrug, because, hey, you're pregnant!