I am struggling. I have no problem admitting that. I loooooved having Christmas break. I know some people get snarky about teachers and their breaks, and that's okay, but I really needed it! Since school started back (Yesterday!!) I feel like I didn't even have a break. I'm struggling.
Everyday, I get up at 4:30 am. Everyday. I get up, shower, get ready for school. I pack Dexter and me for the day. I warm up my car (unearth it from snow). I try and eat breakfast or I take it with me to work. I take Dexter to whoever his sitter is that day (family or our sitter we've hired). Then I get to work around 7, work my rearend off until 8. I run to the restroom, go get my kids, and teach all day long. Then, I work as long as I need to with my teaching partner and I go pick Dexter up. I drive home. I play with the baby, make dinner, and then do school work. At 8, Dexter gets a bath, has a bottle and goes to bed. I try and get to bed by 10. TRY. Rob helps a lot in the morning. In the evening, he gets home around 6 and helps then. I am exhausted. On Friday nights, I do laundry until late, late evening. On Saturday, I attempt to clean. On Sunday we grocery shop for the week. All extra time on the weekend is family time, or go to wherever time. I am EXHAUSTED.
I want to be able to sleep until 5:30! I'm hoping if we ever find a house I can do that! But, right now, I'm struggling.
I want my job to make more sense. I can't say more than that right now. That makes me struggle.
I want to spend more time with my baby before he is 18 and I have no clue where it all went. I struggle with that.
I want to cook healthy meals for my family every night. I want to cook meals that are interesting and delicious. At 6:30, sometimes a simple hamburger is easiest. I struggle with that.
I rely a lot on prayer right now. I think that's the only thing that gets me through some of these days. I don't know what else to do. I never intended to write an entry with complaints and that's not how I mean it. I'm in need of prayer and help. My body simply cannot handle the lack of sleep and the workload anymore. I can't say anymore about that at the moment. Maybe someday, and then it will make more sense.
I struggle. I am a wife and a mother and a teacher. And I struggle.