Thursday, December 2, 2010

Hey, did someone say snow?!?

I am instantly going to make half of western Pennsylvania hate me.


Let me explain.  I hate driving in bad snow and ice.  I don't loooove being cold.  BUT...

1.  Snow is gorgeous.
2.  I pray to God that the snow signals the end of the wretched stink bugs.  (please, God, please)

That being said, what is wrong with drivers???  How can you grow up, in a state that receives snow for at least a quarter of the year, and yet you have no clue how the eff to drive in it??? 

1.  (wow I like lists today) you do not have to drive 5 miles an hour.  If you can't drive in snow, stay home.
2.  You do not have to drive 100 miles an hour (I could think of about 20 different ways to call you stupid for doing that on a regular day)
3.  Crazy person, ice scraper, ice scraper, crazy person.  Learn it, use it, live it.  (i.e. stop blowing shit on my car)
4.  When you see something shiny on the road that looks like ice, probably not a good idea to drive on it and slam your brakes.  Just sayin....
5.   Appearances are important, but please don't paint your nails, put on make up, shave, or brush your teeth (no I'm not kidding) while you are actively driving.  I promise you'll be more attractive without the shard of glass sticking in your forehead.

I'm sure there's more wisdom to share, but for now, please be safe out there!  Especially if we get another 24 inches of snow in like, a minute.  I promise you, it's okay to eat random leftover Halloween candy rather than fight the crowds for bread.  (remind me someday to tell you about locking my keys in the car when I stopped at the Seven Fields Giant Eagle to get my son formula during Keyser Snoze last year.  OMG.)  That actually would be a great blog for tomorrow....

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